He’s just not that into you

Já por incontáveis vezes ao longo das nossas vidas, nos vimos no meio de uma longa conversa com uma ou mais amigas sobre o sexo masculino e a sua interacção com o sexo feminino, conversas essas que após horas não chegam a lado nenhum. As mulheres vêem sinais, interpretam olhares, expressões ou frases e, na ausência deles, estabelecem teorias psicológicas de trazer por casa sobre o comportamento masculino e suas motivações. Como o pensamento masculino não é tortuoso como tendemos a achar (as mulheres é que se dedicam ao passatempo de dissecar ao mais ínfimo pormenor o significado de uma frase de duas palavras tipo “não posso”), vi, aqui há uns anos, um episódio brilhante do Sexo e a Cidade que passei a citar quando alguém liga a maquineta infernal do complicómetro. E vai que, nas minhas deambulações pela net, encontrei o diálogo do episódio em causa. Amigas e leitoras, não queimem mais neurónios sobre o tema, é tão simples quanto isto:

“Charlotte – So how did the date end?
Miranda – He walks me home, he kissed me goodnight at the door, I invited him up – he couldn’t ‘cause he had an early meeting -, we kissed again, then he said he’d call.
Carrie – Two kisses. Very promising.
Miranda – You think? Even though he didn’t come up?
Charlotte – Definitely. It means he likes you but he wants to take it slow. That’s nice.
Miranda – Berger, what do you think?
Berger – You really wanna know?
Miranda – Please, I would love to have a mans’ opinion for a change.
Berger – All right. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it for you. He’s just not that into you.
Charlotte – That’s not true!
Carrie – Don’t listen to him!
Miranda – No, no, I’m intrigued. Elaborate.
Berger – Look, I’m sorry but when a guy is really into you he’s coming upstairs, meeting or no meeting.
Carrie – Oh, that is ludicrous! What about extenuating circumstances? What about you’re stressed out, you’re on a deadline, you have a migraine…
Charlotte - … or a lot of guys are afraid of getting their feelings hurt and they don’t wanna ruin a friendship…
Miranda - … or, or, or they’re freaked out by their own feelings. There’s a lot of “push-pull” out there, a lot of mixed messages.
Berger – Yeah, I have to say that’s all code for “he’s not that into you”. With guys it’s very simple: we’re into you, we’re coming up, we’re booking the next date. There are no mixed messages.
Charlotte – No mixed messages?
Miranda – I’ve spent my life deciphering mixed messages.
Carrie – I’ve made a whole career of it!
Miranda – Uau. He’s just not that into me. I love it. It is the most liberating thing I have ever heard. Think how much time and therapy I could have saved over the last twenty years if I had known this.”

[«Sex and the City», época 6, 4º episódio]